Do you think this is ok?

My boyfriend of 7 months has always been extremely jealous. I've never really had any jealous boyfriends in the past so I don't know how to feel about this. He obviously didn't want me having any sort of communication with my ex-boyfriend (who was a good friend to me even after the relationship ended). He didn't like when my old guy friends from college would leave me myspace or facebook wall posts saying I should come visit or give them a call and what not. He no longer wanted me to hang out with my guy friends even if he was present. He didn't like when I spoke to other guys at work (we used to work together). I'm not sure if this is overboard or controlling or if most men feel this way. He explained it to me in a sense that it wasn't that he didn't trust me -- he just didn't trust anyone else. He frequently told me that he didn't want anyone 'stealing' me away from him and that sort of thing. What do you all think?

Do you think this is ok?
I hate to have to say this, but the truth usually gets someone mad at me n_n so, here goes:





He's being incredibly insecure. If he really trusted you, he would let you have your friends. Nobody would ever "steal" you without your consent, and he has to realize that. Don't let him rationalize or talk his way around it... Tell him that they are your friends and you have every right to enjoy their company!





My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. He lets me hang out with all of my friends, old and new, and he's secure enough to let me go out with them when he isn't around. And I let him hang out with his friends, as well. His ex-girlfriend has a lot of really deep issues, and I know that she wants him back, even though I know she also feels guilty because she and I have become great friends. I still let him spend time with her alone, because I know she has mental issues and needs a friend, and because I TRUST my boyfriend. If there's no trust, why have a relationship?





Now, if he were telling you to stay away from someone who was dangerous to you, or a terrible influence (such as a crackhead or some sort of serious felon who obviously wasn't showing any signs of changing) that would make sense. My boyfriend once warned me away from a new friend I had made, because he felt the guy was, "shady", and you know what? He was right!!! The guy was arrested nearby and put in jail less than 24 hours after I met him, lol.





If this guy is really "the one", are you willing to sacrifice every male friend that you have, just to spend all of the rest of your life with him only? If that's what he wants from you, it's selfish thinking. I'm sure he has his good points too, but insecurity is so huge. I think you should discuss it with him, seriously, and as soon as possible. You need to lay out the issues and set some boundaries. In the longrun, it'll really help you both to be happier in the relationship.





Relationships don't mean throwing out your identity, friends, and sense of self. They're partnerships with two people who want to spend their lives helping one another; not two people trying to magickally morph into one codependant creature :o





I hope things work out. And if he still wants you away from your friends, maybe you should take some "you" time and really try to figure out if he'd be better off as just a friend for you.





I can't speak for everyone, but personally I've found that being with a jealous person makes me feel guilty... even when I didn't DO anything! If that's the way you're starting to feel, please tell him.
Reply:i think he's a little 2 overprotective.he obviously doesnt trust u with other guys...and relationships are based on trust ...so ui think that answers ur question
Reply:Unfortunately, this is both controlling and very overboard. It sounds as if he may have some issues to deal with. Possibly he was cheated on, in the past, which has left him with this feeling.





He needs to put his trust in you; you're a big person, you can say no to anyone you feel you need to. Basically, despite what he says - even if he means it - it does boil down to trust, of you.





It can be worked through, but he sounds pretty over the top.
Reply:if he is an amazing guy, then i suggest you give your relationship another chace. wait it out and see how things go. let him know that the guys you are hanging out with are your friends and you can trust them. i have been in this situation before and i know its hard. he just has to trust you. thats whats most important. talk to him. what else could you do? just sit him down and talk it out. make sure you dont flirt. he wantss to be your number one. make him feel special.
Reply:I would be very careful about your bf because he sounds very controlling and do he talk to female friends? If so then you can have male friends.
Reply:I had a boyfriend once that was very nice and sweet except for the jealously and controlling and it ended up with him going out of control, me calling the policy, and getting a restraining order on him. I read somewhere that controlling boyfriends almost always end up abusing either verbally or physically. It is not healthy...I recommend leaving at the first sign of aggression.
Reply:A relationship is based on trust!


Also, the way he treated you, the way he had controlled you by not allowing you to speak to your ex-boyfreind, male friends, male colleague that is too much.


Even partners have their rights in choosing who they want to be freind to. he should allow you for your own confort zone. He has to give you your own space, in a relationship doesn't mean that you must follow what he said or what is like and dislike. A relationship is to "Give" and "Take". This is vice versa. So ask yourself if he does the same to you.
Reply:I think he's HIGHLY insecure and if your not careful, his possesiveness and controllingness can turn into a verbally/physically abusive relationship. I URGE you to read up on "Signs of a violent boyfriend" and google signs of a possessive mate. That is NOT healthy. U seem like you are still young, and there is no reason that you can't have friends. Granted---u have to respect the boundaries because you are in a relationship--but NO ONE should have control or say-so like he does. Please be mindful, that jealously/controllingness is NOT synonomous with LOVE. Be careful.
Reply:This man is obviously insecure. Guys like this often turn abusive either emotionally or physically..HE needs to grow up, do you want to be the one to teach him while you lose all your friends???