Sunday, August 22, 2010

What is the psychology of this?

So I girl I knew from college a while back found me on Facebook.. we only met once during college.. well she messages me all week about wanting to hang out this past weekend. She then says she can't she has stuff to do. Well she messages me again with her phone number and tells me to "call her any time" and she would love for me to call... She gave me her # on friday, I was out of town all weekend so I could not call sooner.. I did ask her if it was alright I'd call, she said yes and she would like that





Well I call her tonight, no answer, so I leave a voice mail. I go online and she is online on Facebook..





What the heck is up with that??? What do I do now?

What is the psychology of this?
She is fishing.


Don't follow up anymore. You are just caught up in her game.
Reply:If you find a girl in a bar, expect her to be a drinker. If you find her in Facebook, expect to see her there again. When you are looking for a pardner, be where you want her to be from.
Reply:You say you met her in college and you only met once. Well, I say she must have been pretty impressed by you to have hunted you down so she could ask you out and give you her number, or she is trying to put another hole in her belt if you get my drift and she only intends to do it when a time is convenient for her. I think she probably was busy, and if she is anything like me she hates answering the phone when she is online or she could be like my daughter and constantly have headphones on. I don't know how my daughter can hear herself think with those things on all the time much less hear the phone. Well that's one explanation why she may have had the answering machine on and not heard your call. You will just have to follow your gut on that one. : )
Reply:Not only is she "punking" you. But you look like you have no self-esteem, because you just exploited yourself. You gotta be more manlike and move on to a more socially stable woman.
Reply:Well, there's always the possibility that she's busy whenever you come around or something. Or maybe she's just insecure. She probably likes to take initiative at first, but then when reality hits that something might actually happen she gets scared and becomes an insecure wreck. There's a lot of disorders out there like bipolar and dissoaciative. But I'm it's not the case with her. I sometimes stay online without noticing and people write to me and I dont answer because I dotn know Im still on. Dont worry...I'm sure you'll catch her at a good time and hopefully things will work out.


Question on this girl???

So I girl I knew from college a while back found me on Facebook.. we only met once during college.. well she messages me all week about wanting to hang out this past weekend. She then says she can't she has stuff to do. Well she messages me again with her phone number and tells me to "call her any time" and she would love for me to call... She gave me her # on friday, I was out of town all weekend so I could not call sooner.. I did ask her if it was alright I'd call, she said yes and she would like that





Well I call her tonight, no answer, so I leave a voice mail. I go online and she is online on Facebook..





What the heck is up with that??? What do I do now?

Question on this girl???
Just wait it out... Sometimes when a person doesn't log off of Facebook it says that they are still online. But if she doesn't send you a message or call you back within a week then she was just making conversation and your best beat is to find forget about her...
Reply:Wait for her to call you back. She's probably really nervous about talking to you because she likes you.
Reply:She why she decided to find you if you only saw the chick once.. then find out why she is telling you to call or hang out with her and then decide she is busy and not going to answer her phone. Personal opinion I just think she is kind dinkin around with anyone.
Reply:I think shes playing hard to get but shes not so good at it!! Lol!! I hope she answers soon but dont keep calling her she'll think u r desperate!! :)
Reply:Sounds like this girl is very fickle and doesn't know what she wants, except lots of attention from everyone.





Drop her from your phone and chat list, and move on...she isn't worth the worry.
Reply:To be honest, I think she is playing with you. A lot of girls do that. You need to talk to her and let her know that you don't appreciate being played like that. If you keep going after her, she will continue to act like she has been since she belives it works so far.
Reply:first of all thats a dirty move on her side, seems like she is into you more than you are into her. did you talk to her after? did she come up with an excuse? if its a weak excuse then you know shes playin with your head
Reply:now you wait for her to call you.
Reply:It looks like she is more comfortable online than on the phone. I have to text and IM my son. That drives me nuts. He never answers the phone. Send her a message and ask her when you can call? She might have more than one interest going on. My son talks to more than one person at once. That makes me bonkers.

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What type of legal action can i take?

Hi - I am currently having an issue with a boy on "facebook". Facebook is an online community for college students. I do not know this boy or have contact with him other than the harrassment he sends me. He has harrassed my boyfriend who he doesn't know and he has said very nasty comments towards me such as hoping I die and name calling. I have asked him to stop - this first happened June 24th - now it's Feb and he has posted another message. I have just contacted facebook and blocked him and I'm hoping he doesn't retaliate in some way. Can i take legal actions if this reoccurs or am I being silly? This is a very upsetting issue to me and hopefully it is done with after contacting the site - I'm just looking for some advice if anyone has any. Be nice and Thanks.

What type of legal action can i take?
It might be an assault that you could sue for. Words alone cannot constitute an assault, but if you reasonably fear for your safety because this person knows who you are and where you live and he could reasonably come and hurt you (which I'm assuming that's true since you said you hope that he doesn't retaliate for you blocking him on facebook).





An assault is where a person acts with the intent to cause the apprehension of physical harm in another person and that apprehension does result.


Clearly there was an act (his contacting you on facebook) and there was an apprehension of physical harm (you're concerned for your safety). Presumably his act was done to cause that apprehension of physical harm because he knew that sending you these harrassments about hoping that you'll die and things like that would scare you.





I'm sure you could get a restraining order or something to stop him from harrassing you too... and if he breaks that, he gets arrested.





If you really want to sue him, you'll need a lawyer. Good luck with this... I hope he stops bothering you.











I get thumbs down votes for being the only person on the board who knows the law?
Reply:that's so weird someone put thumbs down - people are crazy.. i just noticed a lot of thumbs down on other peoples as well.. . ignore it - i appreciate your post.. thanks!! Report It

Reply:You Bet Your Sweet Bippy you have recourse.


It's called Terroristic-Threats, and if you can produce evidence of these alleged acts, such as a copy of the E-Mail or Instant Message It can be traced back to this person. Also keep a log of the annoying contacts with any witnesses that will testify. While the evidence may be circumstantial, it may be enough for small claims Court. Another way of looking at this would be to entrap him with a police officer in the waiting posing as you.


GOD BLESS/GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:i dont really think u can do anything legally unless he is really threataning to kill u or anything like besides since u say u dont know him im not really shure how u can most likly the website wont give his information out but i really hope things work out for u and that creep leaves u alone take care
Reply:You go sister! Don't take no crap from this kid. I say you go after him anyway you can. Get yo self a good lawyer. Like one of those I see on Springer or Maury. They should be able to drop it like its hot.
Reply:Does he know you personally or where you live?





If not ignore him. It is the Internet
Reply:Just dont use facebook, ignore him and go live your life. Not everything in this world can be fixed with a lawyer sometimes you need to just ignore someone who is obviously a turd looking for negative attention. Its probably some goofball who knows he can get your goat by sending you the messages so just ignore him and dont feed into his ego.
Reply:If he has threatened you, call the police. Also notify college authorities.
Reply:Someone you don't know posted a derogatory message on a fairly anonymous sight? What's the issue? You're taking it too personally. Worry more about what the people you know think and say.
Reply:Oooooo, that sounds nasty. You did the right thing contacting the moderators. Legally, they can abruptly band him - or more -...especially for death threats.





I would suggest you don't retaliate in any way - just ignore his comments. Also, change your screen name password and ID...start fresh with everything.





For future reference "save" or print out his comments.
Reply:O.K.- You said that some boy had HARRASSED you,now,let me ask you something,HOW he knew about you ?WHAT you been looking in that Facebook site ?HOW you describe yourself in that site ?DID YOU been looking for male friends ?HOW he knew that you have a boy friend ?


See,if he harrassed you I think it was because you gave him some hope about meeting him to know better each other,because nobody start harrassing somebody else just for fun.


Let me ask you something else ;WHY A GIRL WHO HAS A BOY FRIEND HAS TO GO INTO INTERNET LOOKING FOR MALES FRIENDS ?


WHY SOMEBODY HAS TO GO INTO INTERNET LOOKING FOR FRIENDSHIP WITH PERSONS OF THE SAME SEX OF HIS PARTNER ?


WHAT YOU REALLY BEEN LOOKING FOR ?


YOU BEEN LOOKING FOR FAN AT EXPENSES OF SOMEBODY ELSE ?


DID YOU WROTE TO HIM PLAYING SEXI GIRL ?


OR MAYBE YOU MET HIM AND AFTER YOU TRY TO BRAKE UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND THEM WAS WHEN HE HARRASSED YOU ?


FROM THE TIME THAT YOU HAVE A BOY FRIEND AND YOU LOVE HIM,AND DO NOT TRYING TO BRAKE UP WITH HIM,THERE IS NO REASON TO LOOK AROUND TO FIND ANOTHERS MALE FRIENDS TO WHOM YOU CAN WRITE


OR TALK TO THEM FROM TIME TO TIME,OR VERY OFTEN,BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO MAKE SOMEBODY HOPE TO MEET YOU ONE DAY AND FROM THERE ON GO TOGETHER HAND IN HAND,BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE FEELING LONELY AND LOOKING FOR A PARTNER IN LOVE,AND IF YOU GIVE THEM HOPE JUST FOR FUN,YOU ARE MAKING HIM SUFFER AND THIS IS """ NOT NICE """





" I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE MI COMMENTS AS NEW HARRASSMENTS "


Good luck.-


GUYS and Girls HELP ME OUT PLEASE I NEED SOME BRO TO BRO ADVICE ON A GIRL, please man do a dude a good favour?

i liked this girl and got talking to her on facebook. we went to the same college but never spoke. just made eye contact. we were talking for three weeks on facebook. she gave me her number. i tried calling in that time but she never answered. i told her i like her and she rejected me and told me she's 'sort of seeing someone'. i felt bad. in the time before she rejected me i posted a comment of her pic on facebook. she liked it at the time. she has not messaged me in a month. has not deleted me as a friend or the pic comment. last week she sent a random text saying she was bored , to which i replied im bored too. no further communication. whats the story here? is there any chance of anything? should i delete her and the pic comment?

GUYS and Girls HELP ME OUT PLEASE I NEED SOME BRO TO BRO ADVICE ON A GIRL, please man do a dude a good favour?
Dude. Chill. Its all good. You can talk to her. Just don't be a creep about it.
Reply:Dude. She's a slut Report It

Reply:If you like her then why do you want to delete her as a friend? That makes no sense. I bet she already forgot about the picture comment anyway so don't even mention that again. The fact that she FIRST texted you to tell you that she was bored meant that she wanted you to suggest you guys do something together, that's the only reason. And the fact that you replied that you're bored too was not what she was wanting to expect so that's why she didn't reply, becos you dissappointed her. You were probally too abrupt in telling her you liked her and didn't give her enough time. You should carry on talking to her on facebook and text msging her but if she isn't replying then stop becos you gonna irritate her. If she does reply then ask her to do something with you but like in a group of friends and take it from there.
Reply:When a chic comes to YOU as a last resort (I.E. she's bored) that's a BAD thing. Why? simple, she only needs you for temporary amusement but as soon as she finds some guy that'll show her fun...you're history. Look, the way I see it, even if you have a great time with her you pretty much blew your chances by asking her out without even seeing her in person (been there, done that). I'm pretty sure she's NOT seeing someone because then she wouldn't have had to text you that she was bored. If she was she'd be occupied thinking of whatever other guy she could've been thinking about. Your best course of action is when you see her on campus try and talk to her and show her a good time everytime you see her. This way, her emotions for you could change but there's a slim chance so don't put all your money on the gamble. Remember...girls hearts are fickle...no matter how you look at it.
Reply:She sounds like a ho-bag. I assume you can do better.
Reply:You want to delete her and the pic comment to forget about her?? Than yes do it.


Find someone else that likes you.


She never answers your calls... why wait for her?


Girls don't like desperate guys... turn off.


Find someone better that won't give you mix signals!
Reply:A chance i'm not sure, but the text message at least lets you know that she knows you still exist. Send her a text and ask he what she is doing later on and go from there in my opinion.
Reply:i think she just likes you just a friend and an addition to her collection of friends in facebook. Sorry hun but she already rejected you once.
Reply:When she said she was bored you were supposed to do something about it, not agree that you are bored to
Reply:No, don't delete her as a friend or the comment. That is really immature. She might really be seeing someone or she just isn't interested in you very much. Sometimes girls like to be chased, then once they know the guy is intersted, they are bored. Some girls just really like to have friends and when a guy first acts like a friend, then gets all sentimental, it makes it uncomfortable. If she says she isn't intersted, then move on, but still keep her friendship.
Reply:Find someone else
Reply:She probably didn't take you seriously or maybe was wierded out so she's trying to make things normal again.
Reply:no chance. Just forget it and move on.
Reply:She knows she has you wrapped around her finger and will jump when she tells you too.





Obviously, not something you wanted to hear. Thats fine. Karma is a *****.
Reply:your relationship is an electronic relationship meaning its only internet based and mobile. if's she's "sorta seeing someone" then she's out of bounds, move on! you told her you liked her and she rekected you, to me it seems she likes the attention from you. don't feel bad about her sorta seeing someone as she should have said something before and not been flirting with you (if she was)


still be friends but meet up more face to face don't base your relationship on facebook and txts as they not like real life, if you guys go to the same school then theirs no excuse of you not being able to see her there.


see how things go


xx
Reply:You stand no chance at all!!! Best advice: Don't behave like a big loser and find yourself ANOTHER chick! Someone who would at least say "HI" back to you...


Ladies I need your help! Guys your opinion is appreciated also...?

Ok you guys, Im 18 years old, soon to be 19.... I'm 5'9 180 lbs.


I have recently completed the three month long Power90X+ workout routine... Not trying to brag... but my body is looking better than I have ever dreamed it would be... Its like im using someones else's body... Jacked and Fully Shreaded!


Nevertheless... my high school female friends who are now in college have seen my photos on facebook and myspace and want me to do a male strip-tease or some exotic male flexing...





The thing is... I have never done anything like that nor have I been to a club and seen a male model doing a strip tease...


What I would REALLY appreciate is if you guys know ANY good music that i could play in the background while im performing... and also if you know any links to any male stripping tutorial....


Thanks you so very Kindly and have a blessed day!!!


and oh yea, Wish me luck! :)

Ladies I need your help! Guys your opinion is appreciated also...?
don't do it u'll regret it





they just wanna have a laugh
Reply:Just do what comes natural, you don't have to be perfect, be yourself.
Reply:whatever
Reply:wth?


Ladies I need your help! Guys your opinion is appreciated also...?

Ok you guys, Im 18 years old, soon to be 19.... I'm 5'9 180 lbs.


I have recently completed the three month long Power90X+ workout routine... Not trying to brag... but my body is looking better than I have ever dreamed it would be... Its like im using someones else's body... Jacked and Fully Shreaded!


Nevertheless... my high school female friends who are now in college have seen my photos on facebook and myspace and want me to do a male strip-tease or some exotic male flexing...





The thing is... I have never done anything like that nor have I been to a club and seen a male model doing a strip tease...


What I would REALLY appreciate is if you guys know ANY good music that i could play in the background while im performing... and also if you know any links to any male stripping tutorial....


Thanks you so very Kindly and have a blessed day!!!


and oh yea, Wish me luck! :)

Ladies I need your help! Guys your opinion is appreciated also...?
have some self respect.. you want to show off your newfound hot body? have some professional photos taken, but to strip for a bunch of honeee women/men is lowering yourself.
Reply:Haha, well done you stallion you! Lmao. Nah man, i have a suggestion. Watch "The Full Monty," it's a british comedy film about normal guys who have never tried strip teasing before and decide to do a gig in their town for money. The film's hilarious, but the music is a good place to start. After all, the film is about male strippers. Check out the soundtrack, search for "The Full Monty" on google. You may be able to find the soundtrack yourself, or the individual songs, good luck.
Reply:I think alternative rock may be fun to see a guy strip to, maybe something like Rob Zombie or the Queen of the Damned Soundtrack. Just go with whatever you feel like doing, be yourself, I think you'll have fun!





Don't worry about it so much, I think those lucky girls will just be glad enough that you are going to do that for them! :-)
Reply:You don't have to go all the way for the girls to go nuts.


Go to one of those clubs, and learn some of the moves.





Keep your speedo on to collect all those bills they will want to stuff in there.


Have fun with it, and learn to do a lap dance for those girls.
Reply:i agree with natalie your lowing your self by doing that
Reply:you shook me all night long by AC/DC would be a good one....actually, probably anything by AC/DC would be good. If you don't like them, a sorta of dancy song, just so you could really "shake things up".





Good luck!!!
Reply:First of all I hope you are not doing it for free. the music is hard to determine because I don't know your dance style. third go to a web site that show the one and only Chip ~n~ Dale dancers.
Reply:YMCA!
Reply:kekekeke


strip tease..
Reply:watchout they might be setting you up for major embarassment
Reply:just luck with that.
Reply:I was looking at that Power90X, its that good eh?

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Do you think this is ok?

My boyfriend of 7 months has always been extremely jealous. I've never really had any jealous boyfriends in the past so I don't know how to feel about this. He obviously didn't want me having any sort of communication with my ex-boyfriend (who was a good friend to me even after the relationship ended). He didn't like when my old guy friends from college would leave me myspace or facebook wall posts saying I should come visit or give them a call and what not. He no longer wanted me to hang out with my guy friends even if he was present. He didn't like when I spoke to other guys at work (we used to work together). I'm not sure if this is overboard or controlling or if most men feel this way. He explained it to me in a sense that it wasn't that he didn't trust me -- he just didn't trust anyone else. He frequently told me that he didn't want anyone 'stealing' me away from him and that sort of thing. What do you all think?

Do you think this is ok?
I hate to have to say this, but the truth usually gets someone mad at me n_n so, here goes:





He's being incredibly insecure. If he really trusted you, he would let you have your friends. Nobody would ever "steal" you without your consent, and he has to realize that. Don't let him rationalize or talk his way around it... Tell him that they are your friends and you have every right to enjoy their company!





My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. He lets me hang out with all of my friends, old and new, and he's secure enough to let me go out with them when he isn't around. And I let him hang out with his friends, as well. His ex-girlfriend has a lot of really deep issues, and I know that she wants him back, even though I know she also feels guilty because she and I have become great friends. I still let him spend time with her alone, because I know she has mental issues and needs a friend, and because I TRUST my boyfriend. If there's no trust, why have a relationship?





Now, if he were telling you to stay away from someone who was dangerous to you, or a terrible influence (such as a crackhead or some sort of serious felon who obviously wasn't showing any signs of changing) that would make sense. My boyfriend once warned me away from a new friend I had made, because he felt the guy was, "shady", and you know what? He was right!!! The guy was arrested nearby and put in jail less than 24 hours after I met him, lol.





If this guy is really "the one", are you willing to sacrifice every male friend that you have, just to spend all of the rest of your life with him only? If that's what he wants from you, it's selfish thinking. I'm sure he has his good points too, but insecurity is so huge. I think you should discuss it with him, seriously, and as soon as possible. You need to lay out the issues and set some boundaries. In the longrun, it'll really help you both to be happier in the relationship.





Relationships don't mean throwing out your identity, friends, and sense of self. They're partnerships with two people who want to spend their lives helping one another; not two people trying to magickally morph into one codependant creature :o





I hope things work out. And if he still wants you away from your friends, maybe you should take some "you" time and really try to figure out if he'd be better off as just a friend for you.





I can't speak for everyone, but personally I've found that being with a jealous person makes me feel guilty... even when I didn't DO anything! If that's the way you're starting to feel, please tell him.
Reply:i think he's a little 2 overprotective.he obviously doesnt trust u with other guys...and relationships are based on trust ...so ui think that answers ur question
Reply:Unfortunately, this is both controlling and very overboard. It sounds as if he may have some issues to deal with. Possibly he was cheated on, in the past, which has left him with this feeling.





He needs to put his trust in you; you're a big person, you can say no to anyone you feel you need to. Basically, despite what he says - even if he means it - it does boil down to trust, of you.





It can be worked through, but he sounds pretty over the top.
Reply:if he is an amazing guy, then i suggest you give your relationship another chace. wait it out and see how things go. let him know that the guys you are hanging out with are your friends and you can trust them. i have been in this situation before and i know its hard. he just has to trust you. thats whats most important. talk to him. what else could you do? just sit him down and talk it out. make sure you dont flirt. he wantss to be your number one. make him feel special.
Reply:I would be very careful about your bf because he sounds very controlling and do he talk to female friends? If so then you can have male friends.
Reply:I had a boyfriend once that was very nice and sweet except for the jealously and controlling and it ended up with him going out of control, me calling the policy, and getting a restraining order on him. I read somewhere that controlling boyfriends almost always end up abusing either verbally or physically. It is not healthy...I recommend leaving at the first sign of aggression.
Reply:A relationship is based on trust!


Also, the way he treated you, the way he had controlled you by not allowing you to speak to your ex-boyfreind, male friends, male colleague that is too much.


Even partners have their rights in choosing who they want to be freind to. he should allow you for your own confort zone. He has to give you your own space, in a relationship doesn't mean that you must follow what he said or what is like and dislike. A relationship is to "Give" and "Take". This is vice versa. So ask yourself if he does the same to you.
Reply:I think he's HIGHLY insecure and if your not careful, his possesiveness and controllingness can turn into a verbally/physically abusive relationship. I URGE you to read up on "Signs of a violent boyfriend" and google signs of a possessive mate. That is NOT healthy. U seem like you are still young, and there is no reason that you can't have friends. Granted---u have to respect the boundaries because you are in a relationship--but NO ONE should have control or say-so like he does. Please be mindful, that jealously/controllingness is NOT synonomous with LOVE. Be careful.
Reply:This man is obviously insecure. Guys like this often turn abusive either emotionally or physically..HE needs to grow up, do you want to be the one to teach him while you lose all your friends???