Sunday, August 22, 2010

Cheated on :(?

I am 17 and pregnant i recently moved in with my bf (he was away at college) and recently i read his facebook and founf a lot and i mean a lot of things saying he hooked up and did stuff with girls and if not always getting to atleast trying several several times. I should have known there was clues like condoms in his pocket and me being pregnant we don't use them....and girls numbers and ext.... It hurts real bad i still love him but idk wat to do i want to be with him i just want to pretend it didn't happen...wat should i do. Do all guys cheat becuz i never truly thought he would do this to me i just can't believe it...please help

Cheated on :(?
Why do men lie? There are many reasons. The lie because it’s in their blood, because they think that the truth will hurt, because they don’t think it’s necessary to tell the whole thing with the details, because they want to seem better than they are, because they want to make women love them, because they are sure it’ll be better for everybody and so on. After all “why does he lie” – is not a question of that big importance. But a woman should become worried if a man starts to tell the truth. This usually means that something’s going wrong. A woman should find out the reasons for that sudden sincerity to know what to do.








When we love we are used not to see the flows of our partner or not to show that we see them. If fact those flows mean very little when there’s love in the relationships. But when it’s gone all those unpleasant details in the character, appearance or behavior start to annoy us tremendously especially because they have become so obvious after a long period of not noticing them. That’s when men start pointing on the defaults of their women in the most rude and unpleasant way. If a man doesn’t love a woman anymore he doesn’t care whether his words hurt, if he doesn’t like something he speaks about it as it is just because he can’t any reasons to stay silent or to lie about it anymore. For any woman it’s better to leave because any relationships are supposed to bring care and attention but not permanent criticism and discomfort. You may of course stay, swallow your pride, watch your self-confidence fading away, feel yourself miserable and etc. But ask yourself is that really what you want?








But of course a woman isn’t meant to quit any relationships after a couple of critical notices in her address. The reasons why her man speaks the unpleasant truth can be different. Maybe he’s simply fed up with one of her very annoying habits. He loves her and he tried not to pay attention to that feature or habit, but he’s a human being and his patience isn’t eternal. So if he burst out once that doesn’t mean that will repeat over and over again. Probably he’s already apologized a million times and said that he never wanted to hurt her. Well in this case a woman should start looking closer at herself if she doesn’t want that explosion if truth to repeat.





Neither relationships are possible without compromises. And can love make us better if we don’t want to collaborate with it?








Sometimes he seems to love and to care but also he keeps telling those unpleasant things again and again. A man may compare his girlfriend with other women and every other woman is always better than his one. He may criticize her even in public. Probably he even like it. That all means only one thing – a man doesn’t respect that woman, because when we respect someone we respect even his or her week points. And still sometimes we love the people we don’t respect. So it’s up to a woman to decide whether it’s OK for her always to play a role of such a poor-thing which is loved but treated as nothing. She may try to talk to her man, explain to him that it hurts her to hear all that truth and that usually people show love in a little different way. Maybe she should do something to gain his respect of cause it these relationships mean much for her.








Sometimes a man tells the truth about himself from the very start to show how independent and indifferent he is, to let a woman know that he doesn’t care much not about her, not about any other woman, probably not about anyone but himself at all. Do you really want someone who’s claiming he will never need you? If you love such an independent guy you of cause may try to change his mind by conceiving him that you are the one of kind but see that there’s not much respect and mutual understanding in such relationships from the beginning.








Another kind of man loving truth so very much is only a provocateur in fact. He talks much about his past, about the incredible women he had, about his sexual fantasies the main hero of which is not his girlfriend. Also he compare her with all the women around and it always turn out by he’s words that she’s almost nothing compared with her. A girl should understand that he’s only trying to tease her and to watch her reaction. She may stay imperturbable and careless about all these talk or even ask him: “If they are so good than what are you still doing here?”. And we’ll work. But at the same time she should ask herself the same question.








One more case when a man tells the truth is when he doesn’t know what to do with that truth. For example, he’s cheater on his girlfriend and told her about it because he’s too weak-willed to decide what to do. He wants his girl to think about it instead of himself.








We all were taught that it’s wrong to lie. So the truth is good, but not always. Sometimes it’s better not to say or hear a thing. Everyone is free to decide how much truth in his or her life one is able to bare.
Reply:he is cheating to u gal!!! u better leave him and abort the baby !!! he deserve it %26amp; not all guys are bad. this one is rot!!!!!
Reply:I can't pretend to know what you are going through. But since I'm only a year elder to you, I guess it'd be more or less what I'd do in this situation at your age. I think it's senseless to pretend as if nothing is wrong. On the other hand assuming that he is cheating on you without confronting him is dumb too. You need to talk it out with him and deciphering whether he's lying or not shouldn't be too difficult for you. You need to move on; for yourself and for your baby. Living in denial is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I'm sure there is someone out there who loves you for the person that you are.
Reply:No, not all guys cheat. You found your proof, now confront your boyfriend about what you've found. If you can't work it out then leave him. It's gonna take time getting over somebody you love. Don't disrespect yourself by denying the fact that he cheated on you. There are better guys out there. He probably won't even fess up to what he did. Unless he's willing to fess up, change, and treat you with respect, kick him to the curb. It's going to take a long time before he will regain the trust from you. If you don't think he'll change his ways, you HAVE to let him go. Otherwise you will be miserable. The fact that you are pregnant makes it a bit complicated. But it's also his responsibility to take care of the baby, so he will remain in your life, but don't let him get to close to your heart. Don't be naive. Don't be weak. Don't disrespect yourself. Be strong. I've been 17 before. It aches so badly when you love somebody who has cheated on you, but if you let that somebody cheat on you again and again and again.........it's your fault. I think in your heart, you know the right thing to do.
Reply:Unless you are 100% sure he's still doing this, don't jump to conclusions too fast. I'm not sure you guys would be moving in together or him being comfy with that idea if he were still cheating.
Reply:All guys don't cheat, just the selfish ones. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to leave. If you can, move back in with your parents or a friend. You can pretend this didn't happen but you won't be happy. His actions are disgusting because you're not only pregnant with his child but, he's having unprotected sex with you and having sex with other women. He could give you and your unborn baby a disease. That is selfish. You need to focus on your health and your baby right now. Leave the cheater and move on. Don't get into a big fight with him because you're pregnant. You don't need that stress. He will always be in your life because of the child but you do not have to be with him.





If he cheated once, he'll cheat again. Even if he promises he won't, he will because look at the circumstances he cheated on you under. You're young, pregnant %26amp; alone. He's scum. Do your best to move on and focus on your baby. Good luck!








Edit: Had to add this when I saw another answers. It's not your fault if he's cheating. It has NOTHING to do with what you did or didn't do. It's his own ego. Don't abort your baby either. No one can judge you, hon. It's your life. If you're sure he's cheating (and you'll know by that gut feeling), end it. Don't listen to anyone giving you negative answers on here. You're not a bad person and you don't deserve to be treated like this. Take care :)
Reply:if you care about the health of your baby and yourself you would leave him believe me i know how hard it is to leave someone you love but you just gotta know you deserve better and you can get better if that's what you want congrats and good luck
Reply:Unfortunately, a lot of guys, have no morals, at that age. You was making a terrible mistake, to be with someone at that 17. Now that you're gonna have a Child. You need to think about his/her well being. Love the Baby. And see if the Father,can become a Man. Don't take too much time. The Baby will need to see some Emotional Happiness from you. Good Luck. Prayers are on their way!


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